 Sleep. I get sleepy just seeing the word. Sleep. Snorrrrrrrrrrr. But: Not so my beautiful, "I'm-more-than-a-gorgeous-body" wife. She is what some would call a "light sleeper." Even if she falls asleep, if/when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she has trouble going back to sleep. Then it gets vicious cyclically. When she wakes up at 3am, for whatever reason, she is anxious she will not be able to go back to sleep, which of course starts the "voices" in her head. No, she is not psychotic. Not those kinds of voices reserved for paranoid schizophrenics et al. It's one's own voice basically doing one of the things it does best: worrying.
I want to talk about several angles on this "disturbed sleep" thing. If there is someone who has not had a sleepless night, call the guy with the marble and chisel.
We spend 1/3 or our lives in bed. Some of us are sleeping.
Sleep Issues Questionnaire
I will bet you a $1* you are guilty of, first, not having checked out the following areas, and two, if you did you found a minimum of five "violations" — honor bright on the bet, now. (Real American Cash but you have to bet NOW, not later after you have read the list. Oh, just mail the money now, I cannot lose!)
Doctor Zest
440 Seaview Ct Suite 1911
Marco Island FL 34145
How to Ensure You Never Sleep Well
If you are serious about getting "good sleep" you will abide by the implications of this list. Most everyone has poor sleep hygiene, meaning sleep habits. Warning: I have little sympathy if you are not serious about wanting to sleep better. Ready? Let's Rock!
If you have sleep problems, and want to know why, go through the list and circle how many of the following you violate.
- I do not have a fixed bedtime and awakening time.
- I have alcohol five hours or less before bedtime.
- I have caffeine* five hours before bedtime.
- I eat spicy and/or sugared food 5 hours before bedtime.
- I exercise within a 3 hours time frame prior to going to bed.
- I take naps during the day.
- The temperature in my bedroom is too cold/hot.
- My bedroom is not well ventilated.
- I have a television in my bedroom.
- I use my bed for things other than sleep and sex.
- My bedroom is noisy or has noise outside my walls/windows.
- My sheets are rough.
- I watch the news or a violent or adventure show within two hours before I go to bed.
- I take my worries to bed.
- If I do not go right to sleep I get angry or anxious.
- I know nothing about relaxation exercises or Dr. Zest's Conscious Connected Breathing technique.
- I do not have a pre-sleep ritual.
- I get acid reflux sometimes.
- I am depressed, anxious or stressed most evenings.
- I may take medications that affect my sleep and I have not checked with my doctor or pharmacist.
- I have never tried sleeping with a radio on.
- I have never tried sleeping with a fan on.
- If I do not go to sleep right away I do not get up.
- I do not take a hot bath before going to bed.
- I do not have a light snack with milk in it prior to going to bed.
- I never contemplated checking into a sleep clinic.**
- I don't get regular exercise daily.
- I do not expose myself to sunlight every day (or daylight if cloudy).
- I smoke before I go to bed.
- I sleep with pets.
- I check the clock all the time.
- I rely on across-the-counter pills to sleep.
So, this was mean. Most all of us violate this list seven ways to Sunday (whatever that means, but we know what it means, you know what I mean?). It is a wonder we do not ALL have sleep problems.
Use the list to find out what you need to do by counteracting all your violations so you too can sleep the deep sleep. You deserve it!
Here's to better sleepi...snorzzzzzz...
* Caffeine is in dark sodas, coffee, tea, chocolate (eek! Yes, true!).
** Your friend with a flashlight, Dr. Zest, has checked himself into a sleep clinic. Usually this is covered by insurance. I was found to have sleep apnea (sleep apnea is nothing to fool around with: sleep apnea is what Reggie White, famous defensive end for the Green Bay Packers, died of). I now have no snoring or breathing stoppages during the night, and any chance of acid reflux is gone, thanks to the CPAP machine I now own. Ask your doctor if you snore a lot, and especially if you stop breathing in the middle of the night for short periods.
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