There are a lot of cognitive (mental) ways of dealing with stress. Some of them stink, meaning they are just WRONG. And many are just simple-minded. Shallow. Useless. I personally hate it when someone offers me trivialities as a lame offer of help for a major issue that I am experiencing. Saying, "You just need to relax." Or "You take things too personally." Just angers me. You?
Stress is serious stuff! It hurts. It's scary. It feels sometimes like it will NEVER go away. And for someone to add limp platitudes to your head is an insult. Even if they are "only trying to help" it only reinforces your feelings of helplessness, and makes you feel stupid as well. 'I can't even do the simplest thing like relax.'
Stress reduction is a science you can master. I promise. It is not about brilliance or being rich or having piles of money. Some of the most brilliant (in one way) rich people I have known were the MOST stressed out! Effective stress management has two things at its core — prerequisites, if you will. First is ignorance. Second is willingness. I can help you with #1 but only a bit with #2. You obviously have some willingness or you would not be reading this! Now, just do yourself a favor, and do not wait, like many people do, until you are ready for the asylum or so ill you have to be hospitalized (if you are lucky) before you are forced to be willing to do something about it.
I will say more about willingness later, but for now let me convince you of one thing: You were born to have a good time. If you are perpetually NOT having a good time, then please notice that! And let that awareness grow to the point you are willing to take stress management into your own hands, rather than let the runaway train carry you into the night screaming, "It's too late!"
So, willingness is your territory. If you are insisting on living a stress-laden life then something BIG is out of kilter, and be aware of it enough to take charge.
Ignorance removal is my business as well as yours, so I am going to do my part. I am going to share with you what works. You gotta do it, tho. If you refuse to do it when you know what to do, then you must have a secret need for stress in which case I cannot help you. If you have that need — the need to be stressed — then you need bigger help than I can offer you in this book. But, if you have read this far, you are able to help yourself. So...
Let's go!
Primary Domino Thinking
Primary Domino Thinking is the most powerful tool for self-actualization next to zazen, I know. Both PDT and zazen (sitting still meditation) work. One can be faster but it involves taking control (work). Zazen is letting reality come to you by doing absolutely nothing. The less you do the better the results. You could do both. Just do a web search for zazen references.
PDT is a modern day tool, and is so powerful, that I have seen it succeed even for people who have never enjoyed success with anything. It is, therefore, the most potent and far-reaching intellectual modern tool for effectively preventing distress that exists. Zazen is the oldest and most effective of its kind. It can take a long time to gain the instant insight that eliminates stress forever: enlightenment. I love them both, but can honestly say (and prove by showing you my life) that Primary Domino Thinking delivers the bread... and the bacon... and the mayo, lettuce and tomato.
I am not an expert at doing nothing so I will leave that up to the likes of Brad Warner, the most honest representative of zazen possible. (Hardcore Zen, Punk Rock, Monster Movies & the Truth About Reality)
Primary Domino Thinking is simple to understand, easy to use, and costs nothing — one merely needs knowledge of Primary Domino Thinking and a conscious mind for it to work. Sound like magic? It is... the natural magic you were born with taken to the ultimate realization of your potential.
The process of using Primary Domino Thinking moves you in the direction of supreme self-reliance. It uncovers potential powers inside you that you never knew existed. It maximizes those powers as a ruby crystal does when transforming an ordinary beam of light into a powerful laser ray. Primary Domino Thinking can be quietly utilized anytime, anywhere, enhancing not only you, but everything and everyone around you!
NOTE: Although a relatively simple process once internalized, this Primary Domino Thinking chapter is a large one! As your coach, I want to offer you two options — choose one that appeals to you:
- Work right through the chapter, interacting and internalizing as you go so that you experience and learn the material now.
- If your time is limited, just read the chapter and return later to do the applications. Do not skip this reading even if you think you will never use it, because you are wrong — at least about parts of it.
- Non-option: Do not skip the chapter, as it includes some understandings that you will need in later chapters. But while we are 'noting':
NOTE: Despite the length of this particular article, what you are getting here is a very abbreviated form of a powerful tool lifted from the source book behind this series of articles: Primary Domino Thinking — Creating the Life You Want. It is, of course, available from your local bookstore, library, or order online right now.
Your thinking creates your world — my thinking creates my world. Your thinking changes your world or keeps it the same. My thinking changes my world or keeps it the same. I cannot change your world with my thinking. You cannot change my world with your thinking. It is very difficult to change my world with my thinking. It is impossible for me to change yours. A total, irrevocable, and stupid (let's face it — some things are just stupid) thing to even attempt. Obviously, if it is such a challenge to change my own life with thought surgery, then imagine how futile it is to reach over onto your operating table while my own brain is up for repair.
[I am going to digress here for a second. Not much, but critically so. Listen: One of the major reasons we keep meddling in other people's heads is because we are dumbfounded by our own. See how nuts that is? My house is a total disaster. There is wallpaper peeling, ripped carpeting, old paint over older paint on the walls, ceiling tiles water-stained and some missing, and dirt and garbage all over the floors. Now, I come over to your house and, without even knocking, walk right in and start telling you how your house would look so nice if you just did blah and blah te blah, and then blahed the blahs, with some more blah. This is exactly what people do! Can you guess why. Take a second and think. Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock. Sure! They are putting off, or even ignoring, their stack of duties and obligations in their own home by preoccupying themselves with yours! Procrastination? Probably not even that. They really do not know what to do. Ignorance. And if you would be patient and listen to all the things they would tell you about your house while giving this advice, you would hear that in the form of really bad advice anyway. They don't even know what you like, or what your budget is, or even if you want to redecorate. This is why they do not tackle their own house; they have no clue what to do! OR they feel totally incapable or inept to do it. Never take advice from someone who is not doing as well as you are. When giving unwanted advice many people are — in futility — attempting to live through you. They are wasting their lives and yours trying to. How to respond? "Thank you. I know you care, but I have this already planned out, bless your heart. Let's talk about something else. How are you doing?"]
Primary Domino Thinking is a tool. It is a 5-step process designed to create self-determined improvements in your life. The transformations may be long-term, such as changing your finances, relationships, career, or body. Transformations are often more short-term, such as changing your present mood, attitude or outlook. The transformations could even be athletic or recreational, such as improving your golf or bowling score, archery techniques, batting average, or swimming skills.
It makes no difference what type of improvement is desired, the steps of effective transformation are the same. In order to utilize Primary Domino Thinking one basically needs nothing more than knowledge of the 5-Steps and what you came into life with: Consciousness and Breath.
The 5 Steps of Primary Domino Thinking
STEP 1: Passionate Possession
To have impact, you must dare to get close. STEP 2: Exploration of the Problem or Issue
Investigate the problem, discovering the true owner. STEP 3: Composing the Primary Domino Thought
Generate your secret formula. STEP 4: Primary Domino Thought Implantation
Tip the Primary Domino! STEP 5: Regulation
Monitoring and adjusting makes the difference.
There is one introductory article next, then each step will be described in the next five articles. At the end of each section there will be space for you to work through a chosen issue of your own, step by step as we go along. I cannot encourage you enough to take the time to do this.
"If you cannot apply what you have learned,
nothing has been learned."
— John Dewey
Continue...
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