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Play
I remember in the 1960s reading that in the 1980s people would be working a 4-day-week, and if you wanted to be cleverly futuristic in career planning you should prepare for a job in the field of Recreation & Leisure. Latest statistics from 2008 show that people were averaging over 44 hours a week at work and spending at least half of their weekend working around the house or at a second source of income. Self-employed company and store owners are working a lot more than 44 hour weeks! Wonder what all those recreation specialists are doing with their free time these days?
Today we are so committed to careers, social activities, and family and civic responsibilities that we are not leaving any time even on weekends for our brains and bodies to recuperate. Is it possible that weekends are becoming as stressful as our work week? If trends continue, work might eventually become the place where we have the least stress! Is this becoming true for you? This could become a serious condition if we don't remember to take time to play. Remember what it feels like to play?
Here are some helpful tips on how to relearn how to play:
Confront the guilt about taking time to play.
Playing, relaxing and having fun are healthy activities in and of themselves. As an adult you don't have to justify your use of time to that little drill sergeant in your head anymore. Give the Sarge a day off as well! Keep work and play separate.
Don't pretend ignorance here. Talking shop after hours is still "being at work." Playing golf with the boss or clients is clearly still not "play." Social events where one doesn't have to be vigilant are much more conducive to recreation and recuperation that when one has to be "on best behavior." Expand your leisure horizons.
Spontaneity is a key component of play. If your leisure activities have become routine then you are missing that refreshing ingredient. Set aside at least one day a month where you try something different. We are afraid of change, and we don't like doing something in which we might be awkward, but as G.B. Shaw stated: "A man learns to ice skate by staggering around making a fool of himself. Indeed, we progress in all things by resolutely making fools of ourselves."
Teaching courses on human growth & development and dysfunctional family issues, combined with my psychotherapy practice, has provided some interesting insights into the human condition. One of those insights applies here rather well. It became obvious to me that one of the big penalties for people trying new experiences is the fear of appearing "silly" or being seen as "weird" or something other than what we have come to call normal. Where do all prevalent hang-ups originate? Having been an observer of parent-child and teacher-child interactions over the years because of my academic interests, I often see the power of these situations on children's development right in front of me at grocery stores, on the street, in malls, restaurants, etc.
I have noticed that there are clearly huge penalties from caregivers and authority figures for being "different" in our society. And it's as childhood contagious as a kindergarten cold! Soon, one's school peers are making social outcasts of kids who do not conform to the trends/standards of the group. Research shows that if the parents, teachers and preachers couldn't shape you up the peer group usually could, and then they continue to do so until death do us part. Refuse to turn play into work.
Everything doesn't have to be a goal-oriented endeavor. The key is to stay absorbed in the moment playing like a child. Too many of us turn hobbies and sports into tasks to be worked at. When I first took up jogging it was really "running," watching my time, trying to better it every day (and getting up sore as hell the next morning!) and beginning to dread it. Today I jog without a watch and just mindlessly enjoy the scenery and my breathing. Find new playmates.
If you always spend your free time with the same circle of friends you'll probably always do the same activities. Rest and relaxation means moderation, not boredom. Be on the lookout for new potential friends. I have a friend who now and then goes on a deliberate "people hunt" just to freshen up his social pool of possible acquaintances. Stop putting it off.
If we put off enjoying our free time for too long we may never find the right moment to savor it. Remember:
- "Doing something constructive" (what we were all admonished to do since childhood) can be something besides making money, doing your "duty," or home improvements.
- Just as constructive: Spend at least 4 hours a weekend having fun.
- Just as constructive: Make it a goal to do something that will create wonderful memories.
- Just as constructive: Refrain from working on holidays — celebrate!
All of us kids, the small ones and the big ones, need regular recess!
Continue...
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